Friday, July 11, 2008

Stupid Bitch

Stupid Bitch,I didn't even want to go to your wedding. I doubt your marriage will last, you are a stupid twit. But, you are Tobys best friends fiance, and I will suck it up and do what I have to do to make him happy. I would have rather spent the $300 + I spent on our outfits/dress, etc on my kids bday party, but this is the way it goes.

You don't send us an invitation, I don't know if thats custom since toby is the best man and gwen is a bridesmaid, but still...too bad I don't know where you are registered now, guess I can't get you a gift you stupid bitch. Thanks for telling us AFTER I buy my plane ticket that the rehearsal dinner is on the night I am flying out. I would have bought it for the day earlier had I known. Also, same goes for the bridal lunch gwen was invited to, of course she can't attend since its a couple days before they arrive.Again, I didn't want to go to your stupid wedding, since you ignored the shit out of me the first and only time we met even though I tried to make conversation with you. SO, you give me Gwens dress info (color, code) less than 2 months before the wedding, gives me a TON of time to go order it, and the freaking place takes 10-12 weeks to get it in once placed. You text me over and over bugging the shit out of me during the week if I have ordered the dress yet. I have to obviously wait until I have Gwen with us to go try one on, which is over an hour away from us. I have to kiss ass to get your fucking dress to me on time, and they don't even have you in their fucking computer. Nice. Same applies to Tobys tux, you RUSH us and tell us we HAVE to get there ASAP to get fitted, we do and then AGAIN, they don't have your info in the computer, so we have to bring the measurements in later. WHY??? Because you all haven't gone in to register with them...WHY the fuck did you rush US?!?!? Then you text me, some during the middle of the night about the exact shoes you want for her. Well sweetheart, she's a ten year old tomboy who has never worn heels before. Do you really want her stumbling down the aisle on your big day? I personally think it would be hilarious just because you would get sore over it, but I think more of Gwen. So I got her shoes, the color you want, "strappy", but they are VERY low, almost flat heels. Deal.

STILL. in the long run, I've dealt with much worse. The insulting thing was that we receive the invitation for the rehearsal dinner, which you know I can't attend because you're a whore and told us after we bought our tickets that it was the night I am flying out...and what does it say on there? Toby M and GUEST. GUEST?!? You have been texting me non stop about the fucking dress and shoes you want, tux, etc for the last 2 months and I'm GUEST?!?!?! Well fuck you.

So next year when we have our wedding, I am going to do the same, it will be addressed to Mr. E and GUEST. I probably will put GUEST in capitals just to get my point across and will make sure not to tell you when the rehearsal dinner is until after you make your flight arrangements. Better yet, just don't come, I'm sure I will see enough of you to last me a life time when we go to your little shin dig.

Signed,GUEST aka Diane (Yes, I really do have a name, or in your cell do you have me listed as GUEST?)

P.S. If I didn't tell you before...FUCK OFF!


Professor said...

Oh my fucking gawd!!!!!!!! She.did.not! That bitch. Revenge is so sweet. And I'm glad you got that off your chest... (am I bad for giggling?) {{{hugs}}}

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

c'mon, dear-- don't hold back like this. Tell us what you REALLY feel.

(and it does my heart good to see the word "fuck" published here-- I don't know why...)

Diane said...

Prof - Yes.she.did. And YES I was SERIOUSLY considering wearing white to her wedding to make it up to her.

Cap'n - LOL...I will make sure to let you know any time I go off...I will dedicate it to you!

Julia said...

holy hell d.

truth be told, i giggled too though :)